Confession.

I've never read "To Kill a Mockingbird."

For some reason, I was never assigned to read it in school like everyone else, but evidently I'm missing out on the best book of all time. I have every intention of reading it, but I've struggled a bit this summer. It starts out a bit slow and I've been so unbelievably busy. The truth is, I renewed it from the library three times and never made it past chapter two.

So I hate to admit it, but I finally returned it to the library last week, admitting defeat. It was going to be a bit embarrassing to renew it for the fourth time - from the same library front desk clerk.

Which means that I've moved on to a different book that was on my list! This one belongs to a friend so I won't be ashamed for holding on to it for a while. But also, my life has slowed down a considerable amount, so I've found some time just to chill and read for pleasure. It's been just lovely.

I'm reading "The Secret Life of Bees" now and I've been really enjoying it, so I'll let you know what I think when it's done!

Quick updates & Humbling realizations.

All things considered, this summer has been... well, not great. I don't want to go on a whiny tirade about it, but I've been having trouble having joy amidst trying circumstances. However, I can shine light on these updates.

- Time with Tyson and Dayna Fischer was absolutely wonderful. I feel so blessed that they went so drastically out of their way during their visit to Pennsylvania to rent a car and come to Massachusetts for four whole days. It was a blast getting to spend more time with them and introducing them to my family and friends. I truly feel spoiled. What great friends I have in these Aussies :) I miss them terribly. Hopefully I'll see them again very soon.

- I just got back from spending the weekend in Connecticut with my dear friend Anya! She was my best friend at Gordon, but then she unfortunately transferred after our sophomore year to Western Connecticut State. I understand her choice, but I miss her dreadfully. Still best friends though! The weekend was so restful and pleasant, and I can't wait to see her again in less than one month!

- The hair is dreaded. I love it but no, I won't be posting pictures. They need time to form into their mature state - then I'll post pictures. It'll probably be mid-September. Until then, they're just kind of a handful and require constant upkeep.

- John Mayer, see you in four short days, darling.

Those things are the bright side. I keep trying to dwell on the bright side because other things are driving me up the wall. But today at Anya's church, the pastor's message was convicting and then I also read this little tidbit from my friend Oswald Chambers...

“Wait on the Lord” and He will work (Psalm 37:34 ). But don’t wait sulking spiritually and feeling sorry for yourself, just because you can’t see one inch in front of you! Are we detached enough from our own spiritual fits of emotion to “wait patiently for Him”? ( Psalm 37:7  ). Waiting is not sitting with folded hands doing nothing, but it is learning to do what we are told. These are some of the facets of His ways that we rarely recognize."

Ugh. Fine. I'm annoyed - extremely annoyed - but I'll wait. I just feel like I can't catch a break this summer. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and remain faithful, but I'm running out of "bright sides," or so it feels. I'm confused as to why I'm being forced to withstand hit after hit, but I'll try to suck it up and take it.

 I definitely feel like I can't see one inch in front of me (even more so lately!) but does that mean that I shouldn't wait patiently? No. Does that mean that God doesn't have a master plan? No. But do I feel like I'm being told to do something? No! If God was telling me to do something, I'd do it, but I'm not being told; I'm just being thrown around like a leaf in the wind. I want stability in my life and with the absence of that, I'm growing impatient.

I'm not recognizing "the facets of His ways" right now, but I guess I'm not always entitled to that am I? I will continue trying very hard to seek peace and be patient.