And that's because things have been crazy busy up in here. Lots and lots of majorly awesome changes coming soon! And when I say soon, I mean in just over 24 hours.
A few posts ago, I mentioned that I was feelin' a little blue. It's been tricky because although I think I know why I've been fighting this feeling (after much muddled examination), it's really nothing that can easily put into words. Or at least described in a way that sounds remotely comprehensible. When I was trying to explain to Will how I was feeling, I just wanted to interrupt myself and say, "No, that's stupid and whiny. Forget I mentioned it." I'll give you a hint:
Does anyone else have an enormously unfulfilling job? I've been at it for 13 months. I can't believe it's been over a year of my life. To most people, this sounds like a bunch of useless complaining because at least I have a job in this economy! So many college graduates are out of work and steeped in bills. And I have work and hardly any bills. It's really an incredible blessing. However, I don't think that should devalue my feelings about my current circumstances. I've been really trying to find joy in the small things and praise God for the income I'm receiving,
but this is not what I was created for.
this is not what fuels me,
what fills me,
what uses my gifts, therefore bringing glory to God.
I don't want to settle for what brings in the money. I think I'd rather be broke.
I was already scheduled for my last day of work to be much later. My letter of resignation had been written and the date was on the calendar. At that rate, I'd have just enough time to pack up house and home and move down to Pennsylvania. But when the opportunity discretely arose for me to leave my job earlier...
Heck yeah I took it.
To me (and with Will's prompting) this was a lesson about your life being what you make it. If you're not content, make a change. Be proactive. I saw my window and I did what needed to be done to save my sanity and get out. But it was only because of Will's encouragement and support. Even though he's a full-time student, he never pressured me to stay at the job that made me want to rip my hair out. His priority isn't rent, or groceries or car insurance - it's my happiness. One of the many reasons I adore him.
My last day of work is this Friday, and I couldn't be happier. I hope you never find me behind a desk again.
Making this decision has caused me to notice how different the perspective Will and I have on the world is from those around us though. It's been really interesting to hear people say, "What's up next?" or "Where will you work now?" Granted, I know we don't have nearly the financial stresses that most have, so maybe you will toss my philosophy on life away instantly - which is fine. But so many have asked, "So what's the plan?"
Hmm. Good question.
I will teach my class now and give it all of my attention. I will no longer be the instructor who haphazardly tosses a plan together in the hour leading up to class! I will be thorough and devoted - and be paid marginally for it.
I will study my butt off (if I remember how) and hopefully get my next ropes course certification.
I will connect with dear friends before we move.
I will read The Celebration of Discipline
and Life Together
and Into Thin Air
and Knowing God
and Psalms, John and Ephesians.
I will ride my lovely bike around our beautiful seaside town.
I will clean our house more.
I will play my guitar.
I will blog more.
I will exercise more to become in tip-top shape for leading wilderness expeditions this summer.
I will hopefully get a freelance writing job or two.
I will dream of future job endeavors and get creative juices flowing.
As of right now, I don't have a "plan" in place to be employed more than a 15 hours a week or so for the next five months. We will trust in God, do things we love, and it will be grand.